Where can I pee?

One of the constant struggles of Pedal People work is finding a place to pee. This is an issue for waste haulers and delivery drivers more broadly, but it’s especially bad with bicycle-based hauling, because of all the water one has to consistently drink to remain hydrated. Sometimes one is working near downtown where there are a few options, but what can be done if one is in a residential area all day?  Covid made this situation much worse.  We used to be able to go at the transfer stations (where we haul most of the waste), but both of these stopped allowing outsiders in the buildings, and probably never will again.  We’ve made a list of places throughout town where one can easily access a bathroom (without having to purchase something, asking for a key, etc), but it shouldn’t be this difficult!  Some of the options on that list include relatively secluded areas off of the bike path where one can pee in the woods.  In one of my routes without such an area, I’ve taken to using a customer’s trash/storage shed to seclude myself while I try to quickly pee in a Gatorade bottle I bring with me.  But options like this are of course even more challenging for those who have… different physiological configurations.

Ethan's bottle of not-Gatorade
Probably zero sugar, but not yellow Gatorade!

From this, we can see my extreme conditioning to only pee in ‘appropriate’ spaces.  Like most people, I’ve had years of training in my formative years about this, which is now wrapped up into senses of shame and dignity.  But this goes beyond just worrying what other people will think about my pissing location.  This conditioning is so deep it affects me at a physical level.  As in, even if I decided I don’t really care if I’m seen, I don’t think I’d be able to just pee into a sewer, or even into a bottle while in a more public area.  I’d simply be physically unable to do so.

It’s like I’ve been set up with an impossible situation.  I’ve been conditioned to only pee in these socially acceptable locations.  Yet not enough of these locations exist.  What am I supposed to do?  I’m realizing as I write this how much mental energy I use every day about worrying when/where to pee.

And these ‘appropriate’ places are all about moving my fluids away as quickly and seamlessly as possible.  The infrastructures make my pee waste, when scientists are finally ‘rediscovering’ the uses of urine as an effective fertilizer.  The ‘responsible’ thing to do is literally piss this resource down the drain.

Most of the rural communes I lived at and visited had standard toilets, connected to a treatment plant or septic system.  Some had composting toilets, whose droppings were usually used for non-agriculture plants, like the flower gardens.  My experiences with these lead me to believe that modern toilets don’t actually save that much time and effort, and really are just a huge waste of water.  Shoveling out the decomposed poop every several months wasn’t much different than shoveling soil: it had already decomposed, and didn’t smell at all.  And if one didn’t want to do even that minimal labor, there are ways around that.  The Possibility Alliance essentially built a small building with a toilet over a hole, and when it became full, they just moved the building, covered the poop hole with soil, let it decompose for a few years, and then planted a tree on it.  These composting toilets were usually somewhat out of the way from residences, in standalone buildings, due to the varying levels of legality.  (Like Pierre Leroux found in 1850s London, the State still doesn’t want us to use our shit as a resource.)  But then one had to make the decision of using the convenient indoor toilets versus the slightly inconvenient outdoor ones, an easy choice in the winter.

Maybe I’ll ask the free garden I often bike by if they would consider making a composting toilet for the public.  Then I could deal with a few of my neuroses in one sitting.

Am I a newspaper hoarder?

One of the benefits of my Pedal People routes is that I encounter many customers who still subscribe to paper media.  I regularly ‘harvest’ from their paper recycling bins magazines and newspapers, which I would never buy.  (How is $60 a year a good deal?)  Incredibly, many of these seem to be barely touched, like a household that seems to have an almost unopened New York Times Sunday edition every week.  I don’t care about the news of course, since it’s already really out of date, and we get a free digital subscription.  But I pull out the sections that aren’t time sensitive which would be fine to read whenever, like the magazine, arts section, and book review.  I do this almost every week, but I don’t read them at this pace.  And they seem to be piling up.  I’ve thrown them all on one shelf on a bookcase, at least to keep them somewhere contained.

Ethan's bookshelf, with the lower level filled with collected newspapers and magazines
Ethan’s bookshelf, with the lower level filled with collected newspapers and magazines

What’s happening here?  Why am I holding onto these, some of which are over half a year old?  And I keep adding to the pile, even though I know I’m not keeping up?  This seems to fall into the DSM 5’s diagnostics of hoarding: “The difficulty discarding possessions results in the accumulation of possessions that congest and clutter active living areas and substantially compromises their intended use. If living areas are uncluttered, it is only because of the interventions of third parties.”  The only reason I really have them on this shelf is to minimize the amount my roommates may complain.  Is my difficulty with getting rid of them based on my “perceived need to save the items and to distress associated with discarding them?”  It’s not like I’m going to get to these eventually at this point, like I’m going to sit down with a yellowing copy of a year-old book review in my down time away from doing things like setting up the blog for this course.  I even decided to write this post instead of reading something from this pile!

In contrast to the DSM, Herring makes the argument that hoarding in this sense has a particular cultural history.  For centuries meaning only gathering of wealth, hoarding as a concept that now seems commonsense emerged in the 1940s.  Key to this is not just that many materials have been gathered, but they are disorganized.  That brings our attention to what the assumed ‘proper’ form of order is, which is culturally specific, often bound with unacknowledged class and racial assumptions.  Psychology takes over from there, equating a messy domestic interior with a messy psychological interiority.  The ‘disorder’ in my house is assumed to be the result of a ‘disorder’ in my head.

Ethan's bookshelf, zoomed in on newspaper shelf

I’m not sure if this is a lack of cleaning on my part.  If anything, one could interpret it as a sign that I’m trying to clean.  Everything is contained on this shelf.  The papers are laid fairly neatly.  And they’re even mostly organized reverse chronologically!  (Although to be fair, that’s just because I keep placing the newer ones on the top of the pile.)  So I’m inclined to think of this not as a mental disorder, as the DSM would have us believe, but as a social construction of this thing called hoarding, which as Herring showed has a specific historical origin, despite the DSM’s claim to universal science.  But maybe I’m just trying to avoid admitting I have a problem (which is listed in the DSM!).

Regardless, I should probably check in with my roommates about what they think of my collection.